In my practice, I regularly come across individuals and couples who feel overextended and misunderstood in their relationships. Often it’s because boundaries are unclear. There are 6 types of boundaries to consider if you are looking to improve the health and quality of your relationships.
Intellectual boundaries relate to how opinions, thoughts, and conversational topics are shared. Some people take a very active stance, while others prefer a vaguer presentation. Emotional boundaries relate to how much a person shares about their internal, emotional life and how emotional needs are handled within the relationship. Some love to “dive deep” while others find this overwhelming.
If you are uncomfortable with how information is discussed it can be very helpful to share this. Finding the bravery to voice your opinions may not always be easy, but everyone in the relationship wins when you are honest.
Other boundaries include how time-related needs are handled and how physical space is experienced. Loved ones don’t want you to feel uncomfortable within the relationship. Very often when one person is uncomfortable the other will feel it too. It’s much better to be upfront, especially if this is what you expect from those you are in relationships with.
Finally, it’s important to consider material needs as well as sexual boundaries. Are you aligned with the treatment of possessions and how they are shared? Do you feel comfortable with how sexual matters are talked about and handled? In most relationships, someone is not 100% happy in at least one of these six realms. That doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed, rather it suggests more communication is needed! Lean into your humanity by connecting in an open and honest way, take the risk to share your thoughts and feelings, and you will give your relationship the opportunity to grow.