Let’s talk about “mistakes”. Nobody likes them, but they are an essential part of athletics and life. Failing can be a major source of mental distraction and distress, and it’s tempting to develop the mindset of avoiding mistakes at all costs. However, the path to excellence lies in changing your relationship to failure. Failure will happen. Your response is what counts.
Mistakes are upsetting because of the meaning we attach to failed pursuits. Consider this question: What story are you telling yourself when you fail? Do you tell yourself that it means you are a bad athlete? Or is it just one moment, separate from your identity as a player and person? For example, take a tennis player who double-faults on their second serve to lose a pivotal game. In response to this error, they can either 1) Punish themselves for their mistake or 2) Use the mistake as data to improve their approach for next time.
Taking the second route is challenging, and this is where self-talk comes in. The next time you mess up, say, “Yes!! I made a mistake!” Using specific, positive language will retrain your brain to see a mistake as an opportunity to learn, rather than a threat. As Michael Jordan famously said, “I have failed over and over and over again in my life, and that is why I succeed.” Yes, Jordan led the Chicago Bulls to two three-peat championship runs. But what isn’t talked about is that Jordan also missed over 9,000 shots, lost 366 games, and failed on 26 would-be game-winning shot attempts.
Jordan excelled because he knew that failure is the path to growth, not something to be defeated by. With his missed shots, Jordan had over 9,000 opportunities to learn what to do differently next time. Perhaps it was a footwork adjustment, a shift in breathing, or a slight change in his follow-through. Regardless, Jordan focused on his response instead of the outcome.
So before getting upset the next time you fail, remember it is your chance to respond with an emphatic, “Yes!”